cool site

i found THIS online. database about English names. very nice meanings too. here's mine:

Name: Irene
Meaning: Peaceful One
Verse: Great peace have they which love Thy law: and nothing shall offend them. (Psalm 119:165)



mood: cheerful
listening to: the saga begins - weird al yankovic

updated!

alrighty. la risonanza was cool! waiting for photos from jeffrey and whoever else took photos. *hint hint* the rest of the choir already arrived at vch when i got there. but the alumni were just hanging around since the choir was doing a run of "sunset boulevard". sat up in the circle seats to watch them. interesting. there was this scene when they were supposed to form a heart shape. which was kinda disasterous. :D as in, if you didn't know it was supposed to be a heart, you wouldn't know. anyway, at least we didn't have to guard food from birds like last year. our first run on the stage was scary. the hall suddenly seems so huge. kwei said that our "yuki ga" was off. but the rest was fine. so, practice and practice and practice. we got mr yong to stand in front and listen to us. and apparently, we sounded better with him in front. maybe we just needed a focal point. so cass was teasing him, that he can just stand there and pose during our performance. which he retorted by saying that cass can stand there instead of him since she seems to like the attention. :D he looks like he lost weight. he's a LOT skinnier than i remember him to be.

ok, then...food sucked as usual. chicken, vegetable and sausage rice. at least they had the sense not to include curry. i mean, who da heck gives a choir curry just before a performance?? no serviettes, no water. :P joy got someone (aunty vivian) to come and style our hair for us. cool! of course, only for the girls. aunty vivian said that the guys didn't have enough hair for her to do anything at all, even to gel it. so, the guys hung around the doorway of the 'dressing room' and looked wishfully at the girls getting their hair styled. mine was ok. i didn't really like it though. felt really messy to me but she said that it's supposed to be like that. *rolls eyes* whatever. she's the stylist. good news came in that they had 100% ticket sales!!!! cooL!!! totally full house.

anyway, choir standby to go in. alumni was hanging round backstage, taking photos with mr yong. i think we were making a lot of noise cos an annoyed looking kwei appeared and shut the doors of backstage. they say he didn't scold us cos mr yong was there. :P anyway, we TRIED to keep quiet after that. then came our own performance time. while the choir was singing their madrigals, we were slowly freaking out backstage. hugs all round. feel the pressure a bit cos the MCs were describing the alumni choir's passion for singing, how we're the choir's seniors, mentors and friends. geez. lots to live up to. anyway, went onstage. and guess what i see first. adrian seated in the middle of the front rows. seriously. he seemed larger than life that he just stuck out of the crowd. the jap songs were ok. "good old acapella" went well. we finally got backstage, totally relieved! it's over!! we did so well!!!! they say that applause for us was much louder than applause for the rest of the choir. btw, jas and sumi says they gave us a standing ovation, but sadly, we couldn't see them cos they were at the back of the hall. yup, some of the juniors (don't know how to call them) joined the main choir again for the indonesian songs they sang at "voyage of songs". i wish i could have seen what they looked like, a sea of red gowns with a few black and jeans scattered in between.

caught up with jas and sumi backstage. they brought those cute toy flowers! thanks sweeties! saw grace and mei yan also. anyway, alumni went back to the circle for the 2nd half. no seats for us tho. they had to release our reserved seats to accomodate ticket holders. but found a seat in the end. saw dr s and naresh. went to say hi to naresh. sumi, you should be proud, the first thing naresh said after the, "hey you're here." to me was "where's sumithra?". muahahahahahaha! pity we couldn't find him after the performance tho. yup. sunset boulevard was fine. i still think they should have given the soloists mics. alumni was hooting and hollering, but knew better than to yell for encore. (cos they didn't prepare an encore so kwei wouldn't allow them to sing one)

yup, after the concert, hung around downstairs. trying to find naresh who, as usual, disappeared. zaidah was her usual self, taking her own sweet time with the hugs and goodbyes. cass was cute becoming really sassy after she lost her flower. saw adam by himself. caught up with adrian a bit. geez. it was hot outside, after the aircon inside. lucky i didn't have my hair down. i would have melted. oh ya, cass was scaring jasmine's cousin cos he apparently looks like jackie cheung and she was going ga-ga over that fact. well, ya, night ended after we FINALLY managed to drag zaidah away from the group. yup. beautiful night. loved it. can't wait for next year. hang on. i don't wanna be around for next year. i wanna be in canada this time next year. lol.

moving on. church choir. khoo's finally gotten round to changing the positioning of the choir. now, we're no longer facing the altar. rather, we've rotated 90 degrees right to face the field and windows instead. and guess what. there's TIERS now. true, it's not very big tiers, but the point is that it's not equally levelled anymore. major excitement when we first saw the change. anyway, now i'm standing in the aisle to conduct, which is a pain, especially during communion, cos i can't block the aisle. we'll try and figure out something to fix that. hopefully. partly i like it. it makes the choir seem more pro and forces them to think about the image they're presenting to the congregation (no more sms-ing or sleeping during mass). but i also don't really like it cos it's hard to communicate with the organ and i can't see how the congregation is responding anymore. :P have to really depend on hearing. anyone got any other comments about the new positioning?

and the robert loh called me to tell me that i got a place for the gregorian chant workshop. so, NICK, i'll attend that first then come back and teach the choir. i got this feeling i'm the only one from st stephen's. cos he asked me if there's going to be anyone else coming from my church. haha. i said maybe. going to bring it up at the meeting.

yup. anyway, did you know that recently, i've come to 'hate' special occasions? not really hate as in hate. but i just don't really like them so much. birthdays, anniversaries, special days like these. i don't know. becoming more and more indifferent towards towards things like these. i should be a hermit in future. maybe go and become a tibetian nun and live in some village in the himalayas. anyway, what's bad about days like these is that, people expect to be treated differently, and when they aren't, they get so mad. like mother's day. out of the blue dad came along and yelled at me to go help mum with the breakfast cos it's mother's day. can he not see that i'm not done with my morning stuff yet?? and why me?? why not that bro of mine??? anyway, so, cold war all morning just because of that. is it supposed to be MY fault?? you know what? i'm dreading my 21st bdae next year. cos everyone will be making a big fuss about it but I don't care. it's just another birthday, another number. so, almost 2 years in advance i'll say, do not even THINK of doing anything special for me. i don't want it. i don't need it. i don't care.

but i'm going off topic. mother's day. it went ok. :P nothing really special. went to swensons for lunch. supposed to treat mum but i don't know why i even bother to suggest. she had vouchers which she used, then refused to let us pay the difference. so, we said, ok, we'll pay for dinner, pizza or something. then when we get back, she cooks up something else for dinner. whatever lah. she goes catatonic when we wanna use our NETS for anything at all. (as you can tell, i probably didn't have that great a day) swensons was ok. drank this forest fruit flavoured lipton tea, which was, imo, diluted to the point of grossness. don't know why leh. the tea bag was still in the cup and i left it there until the last drop of liquid was drunk, but it still tasted like faintly flavoured hot water.

quite a slack day. went to library where it was too crowded to read, so just grabbed books and checked them out. btw, the $0.15 fine i incurred was considered an OUTSTANDING fine. if it was $15 i understand why you'd call it outstanding. but 15 cents? anyway, i paid it. i could barely remember which book it was for. it was THAT long ago. FINALLY got hold of "kite runner". so now i can go see what's all the fuss about. got kafka's "the castle" also. got home, talked to mu hua on msn. long time no see her. suprised that she actually wants to keep in touch. i mean, we weren't THAT close. she was never in my class. just someone i see around the sch, in the bus.

oh ya. i finally bought dvds to clear out my hard drive. FINALLY can get rid of the 2 JNTs hanging around that i don't watch anymore but can't bear to delete. but it can't playback on my dvd player. only on the comp. cos i stored it as data files. haha! 4.7GBs of space is alot. have to do that for my videos and music pretty soon. and if and when i'm done clearing out my comp, i'll have to clear out my room. my cabinets and closets have been hit by the great mess monster again. yuppers. i'm betting this'll be my job this hols. cleaning my room.

which reminds me, top priority. 'fumigate' my room to get rid of the fucking mosquitoes. 17 mosquito bites on my legs alone. geez. i'm a prime candidate for dengue again. and i CANNOT afford to have dengue again. no no. kill me. nutmeg balm and mopiko have become my best friends.

forgot to mention. chris daughtry is eliminated from AI. *jaw drops onto floor* damn. why america? why??! last week's idol was weird. 4 of them left. they were separated into 2 groups, chris and kat, taylor and elliot. one of them was the bottom. and i seriously thought it would be elliot to be eliminated. i mean, chris is good. he was hot favourite to win. and now...darn. considering whether or not to continue watching. i mean, i don't care about the other 3 very much, especially not for taylor. i admit, he's good, but i just don't like him for some reason. elliot may be the next out. but, who knows? sigh. hope chris releases an album. i will buy it.

p.s. sorry sumi and jas and all. probably going to watch "da vinci code" with jacqueline and feng cai instead. hope you understand. hard for the 3 of us to meet up. need to cherish every time we do.



mood: after lunch sleepy effect
listening to: where the streets have no name - U2.

La Risonanza 3

la risonanza 3 has ended. it was exhilirating. sang in it for the alumni choir. 2 songs. "yukiga tokeru/tosaka" and "good old acapella". 12 of us sang. :D good performance for the alumni's first performance.

i'll talk more detail about it another time.

now, i wanna share this song. last night, they did "sunset boulevard" and there was one song that really struck me. it was kinda sad. reminds me very strongly about the theme of nostalgia, about how some people yearn so hard for a lost space in time that they cannot function in reality. this song was done when norma, whose acting career has diminished, returns to paramount studios in the mistaken belief that her career is going to be relaunched back into her glory days. it's sad really. i'll let the song lyrics speak for itself.

I don't know why I'm frightened
I know my way around here
The cardboard trees, the painted seas, the sound here
Yes, a world to rediscover,
But I'm not in any hurry,
And I need a moment.

The whispered conversations
In overcrowded hallways.
The atmosphere as thrilling here as always.
Feel the early morning madness,
Feel the magic in the making,
Why, everything's as if we never said goodbye.

I've spent so many mornings
Just trying to resist you.
I'm trembling now, you can't know how I've missed you.
Missed the fairy tale adventures
In this ever spinning playground.
We were young together.

I'm coming out of makeup,
The lights already burning.
Not long until the cameras will start turning.
And the early morning madness,
And the magic in the making,
Yes, everything's as if we never said goodbye.

I don't want to be alone,
That's all in the past.
This world's waited long enough,
I've come home at last.

And this time will be bigger
And brighter than we knew it.
So watch me fly, we all know I can do it.
Could I stop my hand from shaking,
Has there ever been a moment
With so much to live for?

The whispered conversations
In overcrowded hallways.
So much to say, not just today, but always.
We'll have early morning madness,
We'll have magic in the making,
Yes, everything's as if we never said goodbye.

Yes, everything's as if we never said goodbye, goodbye...



mood: nostalgic
listening to: as if we never said goodbye - barbara streisand

da vinci code

today, let's talk about the da vinci code. the movie's coming out soon and it's been one heck of a controversial one. the latest is that the church is calling for a mass boycott of the movie, solely on the grounds that the movie is 'blasphemous' and insulting towards christianity. i have not seen the movie yet (duh) but i've read the book a few times. so, here's some views.

first and foremost, the very point that a lot of people seem to be missing: the da vinci code is FICTIONAL. that means, IT IS NOT REAL. dan brown did not market it as a non-fiction book, it was marketed as a novel. which means that readers should not take everything in it for granted as true. i think the reason why people get deceived by the book is because of dan brown's writing style, to mix fact and fiction. i read somewhere that in the mixing of fact and fiction, a stronger lie is created. anyway, because it's fiction, readers should be aware that the sole purpose of the book is not to educate, but to profit and entertain. and i must say, it has achieved this objective. true, the ideas dan brown presents in the novel are interesting, but readers should verify the truth of these stuff. do not be like lemmings and blindly jump over the cliff with the rest of the crowd. seeing the church authorities calling for a boycott of the movie, i wonder whether they realise that the content was not meant to be considered as real. in cases like this, it is up to the authorities to educate the people in what they feel is true and what they feel is not. failure to do so, and merely telling people "don't watch the movie, don't read the book" opens up opportunities for conspiracy seekers to think, "oh..there's something the vatican is trying to hide." they may think that the vatican thinks that this movie will open up pandora's box or something about the faith, a sure sign that there IS something that they want to hide. it's like that pink elephant thing. the more you're told not to think of a pink elephant, the more you'll think about one. (try it)

i've read other books dealing with this subject matter. and i conclude that, yes, the bible contains a number of fallacies concerning the cruxifiction (i'm sorry my spelling's going down the drain). BUT that's not the point. the bible is not and should not be taken as a historical document. to my understanding, it was written for the purpose of instruction. ie, it's the message that matters, and not the nitty details. the writers of the bible would have been more interested in the message of jesus rather than in his background. for example, somewhere i read that the cruxifiction is not a literal nailing to the cross, but rather, a symbolic death. fine. the point is not whether or not jesus really died by being nailed to a cross, but rather, what does that mean? what does it mean that someone died FOR our sins and rose again and says that in doing so, he's saving the world? that book that talked about this said that, the symbolic death is representative of a rebirth, like the process of enlightenment. that one claimed that, as a very influencial teacher, jesus would have undergone this process as a rite of passage in the process of building his ministry. SO, this means that the factual content of dying and resurrection is not the main point but it is the symbolic meaning of the 'dying' and 'resurrection' that matter. i guess most of the stuff in the da vinci code lies on the premise that the bible is lying about stuff. but like i said above, the bible does not exist as a history book. true, there are stuff that could be proven historically. but the main point is not historical accuracy but content accuracy. the message matters more than whether jesus was married or not. for eg, what would happen if you found that sang nila utama never existed? that the whole 'singapura' story was fake? would it cause matters to change?

i don't really understand why the da vinci code is undergoing all this flack. i mean, there's lots of other books around that claim that jesus and mary magdalene were married and the bloodline theory etc etc. there are tons of other fiction books also that deal with prickly topics in christianity (one i recently read was about someone being cloned from cells from the shroud of turin and the vatican wanting to use this created christ to set up the 2nd coming of christ). my point is, why is it that it is specifically the da vinci code that's being targetted? why not books like "holy blood and the holy grail"? after all, that book came before da vinci code, AND it's marketed as a non-fiction book. the authors fully claim that that their claims are true. i smell conspiracies here. people planted in the crowd and yelling out against the book to generate publicity. i am not accusing anyone of anything here. but i'm just curious as to the huge reactions towards this book, even before it was made into a movie. it could have just sank back into the huge pool of best sellers, but it didn't. and it generated such controversy that other books with similarly 'blasphemous' content did not. there are a lot of people who stand to gain by the strong reactions to this book.

conclusion. i'm not condemning this book. i think that as a novel, it is highly entertaining and interesting. it challenges people to re-think about things they take for granted about christianity. but it should not be taken at face value as being true. people who are truely interested in the subject matter should look up other books that have been properly researched and analysed, rather than rely on a book that was never meant to be a textbook anyway. by all means, read the book, watch the movie. but don't readily believe what you see. we're all educated people growing up in this age of information. aren't we trained to question what we see? this value should not lapse just because the subject is glamourised and controversial. as christians, we should not take this as an attack against our faith. it would be so much more beneficial to use it as a learning point, to delve more deeply into our faith. maybe you fear that you'll find that everything you know about christianity was based on a lie. yes, it will change your perspective, but will it change your faith? that is the question.



mood: cheerful
listening to: orphans of god - avalon

end of the week

and it's the end of the week again. what's been keeping me busy?

the mj alumni practices. they've been going on and on since friday. tired. really tired. thank goodness i still got stock of pi pa gao. and thank god i'm not singing for the aj concert. i'll just DIE. my voice cracked just now at the lector stand. fuck. i think i'm trying to do too much with myself and having too little time management. muahahahahaha! was it only 3 days ago that i was struggling over the soci exam?

talking about the exam. that seems ages ago. soci was ok. haha! hopefully. the childhood essay was ok. talking about the theories of childhood. i talked about the functionalists, new theorists and vygotsky. so hopefully it was correct and dr wang isn't too strict. the youth part was a slight disaster. did the question on consumption. i remembered the main points, but not the explainations. so, i had to concoct my own explainations to the points. haha! but i don't think i'll fail. so relief. exams are over! vacation is here!!

went for munchie monkey dinner with su hui and duan hui after soci. malu-ated myself when i didn't realise that my lasagne bolongaise was lasagne. geez. too blur after exams. then, they didn't have oreo cheesecake, so had to take the brownie, which, while really nice and sinfully chocolately, wasn't exactly the same as oreo cheesecake. i'm babbling. never mind.

the mj practices. well, those went well. last night was cool. gerald managed to get us all to do the be-be parts of tosaka correctly at last. kudos to him. that's something even mr yong never managed to do successfully. there's 4 of us from my batch. hafiz is there too!

anyway, i'm currently unemployed. looking for a job now. willing and able to work, 5 and 1/2 day week. $6 per hour (negotiable) from 15 may(mon) - 15 july (sat). anyone got lobang, let me know. ABSOLUTELY NO DOOR-TO-DOOR SALES.

trying to see if the music works. drop me a note now and then if you can hear it. it's Avalon's "Orphans of God"

Who here among us has not been broken
Who here among us is without guilt or pain
So oft’ abandoned by our transgressions
If such a thing as grace exists
Then grace was made for lives like this

There are no strangers
There are no outcasts
There are no orphans of God
So many fallen, but hallelujah
There are no orphans of God

Come ye unwanted and find affection
Come all ye weary, come and lay down your head
Come ye unworthy, you are my brother
If such a thing as grace exists
Then grace was made for lives like this

O blessed Father, look down upon us
We are Your children, we need Your love
We run before Your throne of mercy
And seek Your face to rise above




mood: blur
listening to: queen of my heart - westlife

elections are coming

before you start reading, please read this disclaimer. the writer of this blog is by no means anti-PAP, nor is she trying to spread anti-government sentiments, nor does she mean any disrespect to the people/politics mentioned here. take this blog in a teasing/joking light that does not mean anything.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yup, elections are coming again. not that it means anything much to me. PAP will return to power, matthias yao will still be MP in macpherson. end of story.

the PAP truck is SO irritating. going round and round and round and round. "my fellow residents. singapore will go to the polls on saturday 6 of may. remember, you must vote for the party that will serve you and your needs. vote PAP." something like that. the chinese and tamil versions specifically say "vote matthias yao chih". *rolls eyes* just realised that there isn't a malay translation. or i haven't heard it yet. haha! damn irritating sia!!! people trying to study and every so often "my fellow residents!! qin ai de mai bo seng ju ming!! do the right thing! vote PAP! vote matthias yao chih!!". argh!! i could just scream "shut the hell up!!!!!!!!" damn. thank god they only do that once in 5 years. the truck is now parked downstairs. hope it short circuits and dies.

anyway, the matthias yao came to my house today. ;D he crazy come at such a stupid time when no one is at home. it was the middle of the freaking afternoon for goodness sakes. the whole 4th floor, only my house and the one at the end opened up to him. muahahaha! well, anyway, mum talked to him. apparently, there's going to be a lift that ah-ma's side. at last. me was hiding behind the door cos of some stupid reason. anyway, ya. they chit chatted quite long. poor fella probably thinks he's gotten a whole family of votes but it's only one. mum's the only one in this house that can vote at the moment. haha!

i have no idea who's the other fella contesting here. SDA i think. the posters look like advertisements for real estate agent. the guy looks SO fierce lor! he needs to hire another publicity rep. someone that will tell him, SMILE FOR THE GODDAMN CAMERA LAH!!!! that look alone will lose him the election. haha! not that the matthias yao is so good looking either. he just needs his teeth to be a little bit sharper and he'll have the splitting image of a vampire. *rolls eyes again*

ETA: the SDA truck just passed by. sigh. just when the PAP truck decided to shut up, the SDA had to come and take over. and well, listening to the SDA truck, that guy really really REALLY needs another publicity rep. the message is totally put off-ing lor. the only thing he says, literally, is "macpherson, vote SDA!" argh. there's practically non-stop truck noise today. wonder how much they pay those fellas to drive the trucks round and round and round and round all day.

and now, the PAP truck is back. sigh.
(edited wednesday 03052006)




mood: irritated
listening to: you raised me up - josh groban

blogging again

here i am. blogging when i should be studying soci. one more exam to go yet i'm acting like it's already all over. sigh. and who can i blame when i don't do well? i'm a perfect example of self-defeating attitudes (i think it's called). the one where you know you're not going to do well so you set up the circumstances such that it'll explain why you didn't do well. (psych haha!) but, soci isn't so stressful. dr wang and prof ho were good teachers.

well, recap of my week. the 3 exams in a row. psych was alright. tricky choices. EL went fine. lost 10 marks cos i didn't know how to do and practically left one question almost totally blank. thank god peter tan doesn't negative mark. EL was held in sheares hall. the hall was freezing cold. gosh. then was EN. that one i seriously wasn't looking forward to. and that joseph rattling off the schools of thought regarding audience conceptualisation didn't really help much. (in retrospect, it did lah) that one was held at AS6. 2 rooms opening into one big hall in the psych department. i went in there and got lost in the hall. couldn't find my seat. long embarassing story. then, when i found my seat, i realised that instead of grabbing my water bottle, i had grabbed my wallet instead. damn. what an inauspicious start. anyway, the paper itself was ok. could have been a whole lot worse (remembering last sems cultural studies). the first question (the compulsory one), i have to thank joseph. it was about audience conceptualisation, wrt Scream 3. i think, if he didn't recite those theories, i wouldn't have remembered them. so thanks so much joseph! the next question we could choose so i picked the one on advertising cos it specified the readings and i DID the readings! muahahahahaha! i thought. so i crapped off stuff about the oil painting and simulations etc. BUT shock horror, after the exam, joseph showed me the reading. i referred to the wrong reading!! damn. it was the reading about the coca cola ads. i thought it was talking about the other advertising reading. but hopefully dr wee is lenient and she can see that i really did the reading. sigh. self-defeating strategies. i already did so badly for this module, it'll be a miracle if i can scrape a C. i should have tried to S/U it when i had the chance.

ok. then, saturday. went for mj alumni choir practice with duan hui. haha! that was fun. lots of the juniors were there. besides the 2 of us, zaidah (and maybe jeffrey. sorry, i don't know how to classify him.) was the only ones from our batch. the rest were younger than us. so, no wonder they were so excited to see us. haha! zhi lian. they were going to sing "yuki ga tokeru-tosaka" and "good old acapella". a word about "good old acapella", i learnt it in SAC but i learnt the BASS part. muahahaha! so i can sing with jeffrey and the other fella (don't know/forgot his name. paiseh.) the sops were very very very very soft for this song. despite they having the majority of strength. but it was fun to be back at mj.

sunday. went out for buffet lunch that mum says is her easter lunch. that went ok. janice went. cute girl was eating mee with her fingers. mum says she keeps acting like she's drunk, laughing and giggling at any small provocation. :D anyway, finally talked to ah-ku about student exchange. he says he rather'd i go somewhere more prestigious. UBC isn't exactly a well sought after place. he also says that if i really wanna go somewhere, go to Beijing U. *eyes wide with shock* cos china is coming up and it'll be really beneficial to make contacts now with china. erm... don't know what to say. but i doubt i'll go to china for SEP. i'll just die. my chinese so horrigible. he didn't really take a stand about whether SEP is good or not. so, i'm just as confused as ever. sigh. my ah-ku is an ally i was counting on. but we'll see what happens when they open SEP applications.

oh ya. forgot to mention, kellie pickler is FINALLY off american idol!!!!!!! yay!!! i feel so evil. never liked her much. so act cute i think. what's with that "i don't have an accent" thing?? damn, the only person there who has a stronger accent than you is simon. her accent even shows when she sings. geez. quit denying girl. i haven't watched the recording that i made yet, but i read that she butchered the version of "unchained melody" that clay had "sexily and lovingly caressed" when he sang it. er...i never liked "unchained melody" either, but i know it doesn't take much to kill that song. anyway, my take for the top 3 this year: katherine, chris, paris. and i hope chris wins. :D it's time a guy won again.




mood: don't know
listening to: i believe in you - il divo & celine dion